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Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Panaghoy


Lumuluha
Humihikbi
Tila nilayasan ng pag asa
Ligaw, tuliro, sawi

Tanaw ay malayo
Hinaharap tila malabo
Tanong sa sarili paulit ulit
Paano, saan, bakit?

Paano pupulutin
Paano tatahakin
Buhay na mapagsubok
Kinabukasan na tila marupok?

Nag iisa, walang katuwang
Kapalaran ay tanggap ng maluwang
Subalit sadyang malungkot at mahirap
Mag isang nangangarap

Pilit kinakaya,
Buong lakas tila di magkasya
Katawan ay hapo,
Isipan ay tuliro
Sugatan at manhid, damdamin at puso.

Kailangan ng tulong
Saan at sino, walang bumubulong
Dasal sa tuwina, sa Diyos na mapagpala,
Bigyan ng kahit na ga munggong pag asa.

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A friend wrote to me about this poem with a concerned tone behind her words. I should have written a small explanation to why I have allowed my mind to dwell on such a depressing thoughts. It is not my intention to alarm readers of an imminent suicidal tendencies….hehe. But I must confess too and it was quite devious of me, that deep inside I found it interesting to see how people will react to the poem. I have written a response to my friend explaining the reason behind the sad poem enough to restore her peace of mind.

For me, each of us (yes, me, you, everybody) has a core fear. This is not a bad thing; it is rather a good thing. It’s a primitive instinct we were born with. It shapes our lives and is paramount to our very survival as humans (or animals). This core fears were well hidden. Who would want to bare one’s fear? To expose it will make me vulnerable and weak (or so I thought, but that’s another topic). But they are the prime generator of action. They fuel every decision and feat I make. It’s like my body is defending itself from this fear that it can’t dispose of. If I try to understand this fear and help my physical body to react in a way favorable to my goals would be an advantage on my part. This is my core fear point blank… pure as it is. But take heed! Around it in thick layers I have woven this protection. This fabric of protection would tame the fears and put them at bay. At the same time I have used the same fear to propel me to what I need to achieve…to change….to move on…. to pursue my dream.
An important note: God do answer prayers....

2 comments:

juleste said...

Mabigat ang mga damdaming sinasaad ng iyong tula. Mga tanong ay tila naghahanap ng mga kasagutang mahirap ipahiwatig.

Ang pagsisiwalat ng mga ito ay nakapagbibigay gaan kahit man lang kaunti sa mga pinapasan sa buhay.

Ang mga luhang pumatak ay mistulang agos na nagpapadaloy sa mga pagkalito ng isipan.

Ang panaghoy ay tulad ng gabi. Madilim, malamig, nagbabalot ng takot.

Subalit sa bawat gabi ay may bukang-liwayway. Sa pagngiti ng liwanag, ito ay may dalang pag-asa.

Lilipas ang gabi, darating ang bukang-liwayway. Yakapin mo ang umaga at tahakin ang landas patungo sa iyong mga pangarap.

Pagkakamali ang isiping nag-iisa kang mangarap. May kaagapay ka patungo sa tagumpay na nais mong marating.

EM said...

slamat Juleste! Mas mahaba ang comment mo sa entry ko....hehe. Which is good. My poem says alot behind it and you managed to bring it out.

I'm sorry that I made it so depressing. It's the core fear. Some may hide it but it's true, it's there. Just that people has the capacity to wrap that fear with courage and determination to go on and hope for the best. And this if done excellently will turn out to be a beautiful pearl.